July in January

There is one critical element to making it through a winter in Alaska, a sense of humor. You can see that these kids in Anchorage have that down. Check out that green grass... in January?

Momma always told me, be careful of what you wish for. When I said turn up the thermometer I didn't mean up to 40 degrees, with 120 MPH gusts. The snow around here is a glaciated ice pack, the creek is flowing, and the path to the studio is a luge run.

It's real hard to go snowshoeing when every step is a sodden stomp to your knees. Talk about a high impact step workout, sheesh. Unless you want to end up with your feet in the air walking outside without spiked grips attached to your feet is not an option.

Just when your REALLY starting to lose your sense of humor you have a sunset like this one. I figure it's a sign that Mother Nature has decided that the testing period to see if you are worthy to live here is over. Now can I please go to town and do my laundry?

Ten Tell-tale Signs of Cabin Fever

We are now experiencing tropical Alaska. Who would have thought we'd go from -25 to 30 above in a matter of days. When the chinook winds come after a long cold spell the result is pretty dramatic. All the wonder land white stuff turns into dirty, slick, slop darn quick. Of course, for us it makes the road out to the real world into a 20 mile skating track. So between the severe cold and the freezing rain we haven't ventured to town in awhile. Which brings us to signs of cabin fever.

Ten Tell-tale Signs that you have a case of Cabin Fever:

1) You make monster faces at your kin.

2) You flip off your spouse when he's not looking.

3) You ask members of your family what level there "mean-o-meter" is at.

4) You LONG to go to town to do wash clothes at the laundry mat.

5) You can no longer eat your own cooking.

6) You serenade the household with the January cat yeeeeeeooOOOOOOWwwwll!!!.

7) You experience non-verbal eye roll at every comment made by your spouse.

8) You hide in the other cabin away from cabin mates until you absolutely HAVE to come in and interface with other people.

9) You know that you can not stand one more day of "over-grease". A condition experienced by being one day over due in the weekly sauna night quota.

10) You repeatedly squeeze your daughter to get the meanness out of her.

If you can check five out of these ten items it is time for a trip to town.

HOT dog! COLD daze

HOT DOG: It looks like one of the Choate sled dog team will go down in the history books. Logwagger (aka the Son of Satch) was my unconventional lead dog. A miss hatch of coon hound and husky, Logwagger rallied the team in front when things got slow. His problem, long hound dog ears and not a lot of fuzzy hair to keep him warm. His hound dog limitations relegated him to warm days out on the trail but it didn't diminish his trail spirit. He was always ready to go when called upon. You can tell by his pic that Logwagger has lots of charisma.

We knew Logwagger needed to go to a special home and it looks like we hit the mark. We got a phone call yesterday that Logwagger and his new friend Joseph not only won first place in the one dog race they broke the track record at Tozier Track in Anchorage! We couldn't be more proud! We hope to get to one of Joseph's races with sign in hand - "GO, LOGWAGGER, GO!"

COLD daze: Jenn and I decided that -10 on the river didn't sound so bad after two days of being housebound. Here's the results....

Chill with Jill

The cold goes on, but it could be worse. ADN reports, "The coldest temperature was 68 below in Chicken yesterday," National Weather Service meteorologist Jim Brader said Friday. "And we've had a 63 below in Tok yesterday." "When it gets that kind of cold, mushers can't mush, small planes can't fly and gasoline turns to a slushy pudding in your gas tank." Now that's chilling.

On the banks of frozen Kroto Creek our biggest problem is not traveling its manuevering. When it's this cold every machine has to come inside to warm up before it can be used. That means cooking around the chainsaw.

When the kitchen becomes the garage there is bound to be trouble. Especially when one chainsaw becomes two with a generator on the side. A small cabin that includes a one-butt kitchen does not store garage contents well. Especially when the cook has to constantly move them out of her way while attempting to access food stuffs. Comments from the kitchen intruder like, "there's flour on the generator" when he comes to retrieve his machinery does nothing to endear him to the cook. It does make her ponder the possibility of lacing his next drink with cream however, since he's lactose intolerant. Never mess with the cook when its cold.

I long for the day when my kitchen does not double for a small engine repair shop. Until then I'm thinking about creating a new sport, chainsaw hockey. Grab the broom, maneuver the saw, open the door, take the shot, GOAL!!!

The Bold of Cold/Big Footin'

The BOLD of COLD: We've finally hit the big time in cold here. According to ADN, "Amid the deepest cold snap in a decade, the National Weather Service station in West Anchorage yesterday registered it's 10th straight day of double-digit negative temperatures -- with the coldest day all winter. The mercury fell to minus 19." The further north you go the more of a blast it is, "Driving north from Anchorage, the readings fell even further. A frigid spot in Eagle River registered minus 38. In Palmer it was minus 40. In Willow minus 47." Anchorage are where the wimps live. The stout of heart live in Fairbanks. Their not whining about the cold snap their headline states... "Past cold spells have proven worse in Interior". They are the bold of cold.

We BIG Footin: Even though it's cold I absolutely HAVE to do something outside. If not, I turn into a psychotic killer (or at least it seems that way).

The solution to winter sanity is to strap webs to my feet and become Big Foot incarnate (otherwise known as snowshoeing). Something tranquil happens when busting out my own personal trail to no where. You wouldn't think in these temperatures sweating is possible. Swathed in umpteen layers of protective gear its inevitable. It's sort of like taking fat back and wrapping it in cellophane under a slow flame. By the time I get home the tell tale signs of working hard show up on my long johns...skunk sweat back, chest radiation, and my favorite... crotch perspiration (which could be confused with something else but never mind).

Additions and Announcements

Southbound Porky: Looks like the Antler Porkypod has been accepted into the Web & Flow Exhibit, a juried international basketry exhibition at the Textile Center in Minneapolis, MN. Show starts March 6 through April 18, 2009. The big bottomed babe will be winging her way down south to be part of the show.

Additions: My friends Jim and Esther of Talkeetna (fellow cabin dwellers in cold) have added a couple of noteworthy items to the "25 things I hate about -25".

23) Blockage. Occurs when areas in the cabin are strategically blocked out using quilts, blankets, sleeping bags, and/or blue styrafoam in an attempt to keep some part of the living quarters above 60 degrees.

24) Hat head coiffure. When constantly wearing a hat to keep warm compresses the hair follicles to the head resulting in the plastered grease look. Very becoming.

25) Standing room only. Now this I don't experience because my drains come in the form of a slop bucket thrown outside that crackles upon contact with the outside world. However, for those that do, "the real trouble is when a standing drainpipe freezes and you have to keep putting boiling water down it then suck it back out, pour in more, suck it out ... ad nauseum." Makes that slop bucket look REALLY inviting.

Just goes to show that cold times make quick minds. Thanks Jim and Esther!

25 things I hate about -25

Things are cold up north and have been for a couple of weeks. According to ADN we have no reason to whimper as in Fairbanks it's been a balmy -55. So in celebration of January's cold grip on Alaska a recitation on ...

25 Things I hate About -25.

1) Waking up to 40 degree temperatures in the house and knowing I have to descend from the loft and stoke the fire.

2) Breaking the frost ring in the Outhouse. A gift from the first person in the household that has to go to the can - man.

3) Nose freeze. Breathing at -25 does nothing for opening up those passageways.

4) Shooting pop cans. What happens when you have the soda staged too close to the door. When it freezes and explodes in the middle of the night it's almost like the experiencing the shoot out at the OK corrall.

5) Hot bed, cold feet. The floor is freezing in the cabin however the loft where we sleep is on slow roast.

6) Starting the snow machine. A good way to enhance those upper body muscles pulling the start cord to no avail.

7) Starting a vehicle. Begins with loading all the appropriate equipment on snow machine to get to vehicle. Generator, plugs, cords, magnetic heaters, etc. Towed to vehicle three miles away. Plugged in for several hours. Come back later and try again.

8) Michelin woman chic. As if I didn't have enough extra bulk on from the holidays now to enhance that form the addition of layers. Long underwear, fleece pants, sweater, Carhart bibs, Parka. By the time I get everything required on my person waddling is the only thing that is possible.

9) Frost leakage. Want to see how air tight your home is? -25 will give you a visual disclosure of every opening to the outside. Frost wreathes the door and whispers in the windows.

10) Longies Lounging. When its -25 there is no need for regular attire. Long underwear and fleece pants fit the bill nicely.

11) Cabin fever. When you can no longer stand your spouse or anyone else that is related to you.

12) Light on the horizon. The good thing about light in January is we are beginning to get more of it...one nano-second at a time.

13) NOAA report. The weather from those that know forecasting another week of -30.

14) Interior living. At -55 in Fairbanks you might consider heading south for the winter.

15) Greased lightning. In these temps everything dries out including my hands. The only way to get some life back into them is bag balm before I got to bed.

16) The incredible disappearing wood pile. In these temps our hobby is stoking the fire. Doesn't mean the temps in the house ever gets above 68 but it's much more manageable than 40.

17) Frosted pain. The humidity from melting snow in the studio completely frosts up the window panes sort of like in Dr. Zhivago but without Omar.

18) Opening doors. A sure way to drop the temperature in the house by ten degrees.

19) Fast pants. Beginning able to drop your additional drawers fast enough to pee without losing it in your pants before hand.

20) It's shocking. With no humidity in the air at -25 everything shocks you.

21) Tea-pee. Hot drinks sound good until you are required to purge. See 19.

22) Shut up. Being shut up in the house because it's too cold to go outside and do any work. See 11.

23) I lied, I can't think of 25.


What can you say about braving Alaska in the grip of winter. According to Dee Bolm of Fairbanks, "It's Alaska, and we all live here by choice. You just hunker down and hang on."